Pirates do it with Grog.

Internet piracy is a subject I feel very passionate about because I’m in it.  I’ve been pirating music and movies for as long as I’ve had the internet (which was from a very young age).  I download music mainly because I love it.  I want to learn everything it has to offer without having to choke down the dick that corporations tell us is “cool” and “hip”.  I can remember the first song I ever pirated.  It was a catchy number that my brother and I saw on “Pop-Up Video” when we were younger.  It was none other than “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon. This song set me on my path that eventually led me to where I am today.  I have no regrets on the path that I’ve travelled.  What I’m doing is turning the record industry on it’s ear and forcing them to listen to what we, the pirates, the fans, the music lovers, have to say.

The idea I have behind downloading music is making recording artists and their labels responsible for the product they produce.  I want everyone to pirate everything they can.  Burn it.  Share it.  Have fucking listening parties with it.  But the main thing you must do for this plan to work:  Buy the music you like.  Buy it all.  Help the artists survive and show support by buying it.  This way, the label has to be forced to drop its shit acts because they won’t sell (and that’s all they care about really).  While purchasing the good artists, this may get them to be noticed by a bigger label and picked up.  That means more touring, more albums, more of what you like.

Now, let’s talk about quality of music.  There is a local band called Stereos.  They are god awful and I want everyone who reads this to go and listen to their catalogue (if you can make it through) and try to find one good gem in there.  It’s a sea of shit and these assholes are making sure it stays that way.  Where’s the originality?  Where’s the talent?  Where’s the creativity?  NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH STEREOS THAT’S FOR SURE.  These pieces of shit are no talent hacks that couldn’t produce a meaningful song with all the Auto-tune in the world.  Now, Ben Gibbard and his crew took their stand at the 51st Grammy’s wearing blue ribbons in protest the use of Auto-tune in the music industry.  Fuck yes.  Artists standing up for artists.  Recognizing the hard work these players take when making their music.  Auto-tune is killing the music industry and it’s artists one perfect pitched song at a time.  It’s imperfections that make these songs stand out.  Listening to vinyl and hearing all those pops and hisses still gives me shivers down my spine.

Another band that shouldn’t be allowed near anything to do with music:  Brokencyde.  I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them but their big single “Freaxxx” (NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE) is the most awful thing to be produced.   A bunch of fucking kids who don’t know their dicks from their asses when writing a song.  “Let’s get fucking freaky now”?  That’s your big lyric?  A song about freaky sex and getting “crunk” when you look like you’re not old enough to even shave?  Here’s some advice brokencyde, break up the band, I’m sure no one would care anyways, and take up something more worthwhile than you screamo-crunkcore music.  Like crocheting.

That’s the idea guys.  Avoid the shit and support the awesome.  With that, you and I can save the world of music.  One download at a time.

-j.

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